Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
After 20 yrs
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued... "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued... "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Impact of JOB CHANGE
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!
"The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for the last 25 years."
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!
"The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for the last 25 years."
Tough test!!!!!
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and
the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one
week of study, a test was held.The professor passed out a sheets of small
paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.
No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our
student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he
stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's
desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written."
The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything
and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You
tell me..."
the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one
week of study, a test was held.The professor passed out a sheets of small
paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.
No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our
student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he
stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's
desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written."
The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything
and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You
tell me..."
Work
A Senior Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.
He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. To kill time he decides to have fun with him.
He calls him.
Senior Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?
Canteen boy smiles...
Senior Manager - what are your future plans?
Canteen boy keeps quiet...
Senior Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?
Canteen boy gives a cold stare.
Senior Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai...naam hai.........., shohrat hai........., paisa hai............ Izzat Hai.............,tumhare paas kya hai?
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Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas bahut KAAM hai....
Senior Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.......
He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. To kill time he decides to have fun with him.
He calls him.
Senior Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?
Canteen boy smiles...
Senior Manager - what are your future plans?
Canteen boy keeps quiet...
Senior Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?
Canteen boy gives a cold stare.
Senior Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai...naam hai.........., shohrat hai........., paisa hai............ Izzat Hai.............,tumhare paas kya hai?
.................
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Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas bahut KAAM hai....
Senior Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.......
The HR Process
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources
Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in
heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a
Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to
do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let
you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman
"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green
of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing
in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had
worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for
her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old
times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the
country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she
had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and
waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found
St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24
hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had
great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came
and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you
must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd
say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down
back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were
dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
*"Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee.*
Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in
heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it
seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a
Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to
do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let
you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman
"Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went
down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green
of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing
in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had
worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for
her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old
times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the
country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she
had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time
that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and
waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found
St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24
hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had
great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came
and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you
must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd
say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a
better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down
back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were
dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my
friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
*"Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee.*
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
God wants to know who were dominated by their wife
Men on earth die and go to heaven.
God comes and says," I want the men to form two queues - one line for the men who dominated their women, and
the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.
Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
God comes and says," I want the men to form two queues - one line for the men who dominated their women, and
the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."
Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.The line for the men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one man.
God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.
Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!
Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
Monday, June 06, 2005
A priest, a doctor and a fresh engineer die and go the heavens gate
A priest, a doctor and a fresh engineer die and go the heavens gate, they hear gods voice and it says " My sons i am really very sorry but the heaven is full and i can accommodate only one of u. so to choose the rightful person one by one tell me what u have done in ur lifetime." The priest goes up first and says " well god i am a priest i am ur humble servent and have spent all my life working to spread ur message." The doctor goes up next and says " well i am a doctor and i have helped thousands of people recover from there illnesses and saved countless lives." The engineer goes up and says " well I worked as a s/w engineer and...." before the engineer could say any further the heaven's gate opened and god came out with tears in his eyes and said to the engineer "Say no more my son come with me b'coz u have already been through hell."
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Chintu goes to a shop to buy Indian flag
Chintu one day goes to a shop to buy Indian flag. The shopkeeper gives him an
Indian flag.
Chintu looks at it for a while and asks one question. Shopkeeper faints
What does he say?
Guess.........................
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Isme koi doosra colour dikhao
Note: Chintu is our new character.
Indian flag.
Chintu looks at it for a while and asks one question. Shopkeeper faints
What does he say?
Guess.........................
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Isme koi doosra colour dikhao
Note: Chintu is our new character.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
PJ of the day
One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day for all his bad deeds.
He felt that he should go and apologies to Ram for all the problems he had caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan standing there.
Ravan just kept staring and thinking but didn't say a word.
What was he thinking?
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Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon? J J J J
He felt that he should go and apologies to Ram for all the problems he had caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan standing there.
Ravan just kept staring and thinking but didn't say a word.
What was he thinking?
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Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon? J J J J
Friday, February 25, 2005
SHOLAY ki MAUSI at Accneture!!!!!! Enjoy ........
Amitabh: Mausi ladka “ Accenture” mein kaam karta hai...
Mausi: Hai raam...
Amitabh: Aajkal allocated bhi hai...
Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????
Amitabh: Ab C ki rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya C ki rating bhi aati hai uski????
Amitabh: PL se ladaai karne ke baad B ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????
Amitabh: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban...
Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????
Amitabh: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????
Amitabh: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!
Amitabh: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??
Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Accenture waale se kabhi nahin karegi.......
Mausi: Hai raam...
Amitabh: Aajkal allocated bhi hai...
Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????
Amitabh: Ab C ki rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya C ki rating bhi aati hai uski????
Amitabh: PL se ladaai karne ke baad B ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????
Amitabh: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban...
Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????
Amitabh: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????
Amitabh: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!
Amitabh: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??
Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Accenture waale se kabhi nahin karegi.......
Thursday, February 24, 2005
That is too much!!! Some body save me please!
Once a girl was drinking Coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink and took it out from the Coke.
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died.The baby fly opened its eyes, looked at the girl and said,"Maaa!".
The girl asked the baby fly,"Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tune mujhe Maa kyo bulaaya?"
The fly replied, "Kyoonki maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died.The baby fly opened its eyes, looked at the girl and said,"Maaa!".
The girl asked the baby fly,"Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tune mujhe Maa kyo bulaaya?"
The fly replied, "Kyoonki maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Kid wants to marry his grandma....!
"Daddy," said a six-year-old boy, "I'd like to get married."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma."
"Now, wait a minute," said his father.
"You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma."
"Now, wait a minute," said his father.
"You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine."
Friday, February 11, 2005
Chatting Funda
Our hero chatting with GF (heroin) regularly . They had never met each other.
Both are s/w engg by the profession and both work for MNC's.
Hero : Hey..GM.. how r u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on
chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find
you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some
coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime
number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with
you,if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for
heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid
things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers
are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime
number,given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its
real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour
from now.ok?
Heroin : THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO
YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW
Both are s/w engg by the profession and both work for MNC's.
Hero : Hey..GM.. how r u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on
chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find
you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some
coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime
number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with
you,if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for
heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid
things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers
are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime
number,given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its
real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour
from now.ok?
Heroin : THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO
YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW
Thursday, February 10, 2005
IAS interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions
to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined,
but one persistent candidate would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this candidate. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.
"By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention".
If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject.I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions
to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined,
but one persistent candidate would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this candidate. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.
"By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention".
If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject.I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Women
A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to
show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialled 911,and within
minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to
ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her
Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the
body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the
officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are
so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you s ay such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from
the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialled 911,and within
minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to
ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her
Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the
body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the
officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are
so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you s ay such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from
the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
Monday, February 07, 2005
Deadly PJ
Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 cigarettes and
have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything else with you in the
boat? How will you do it?
See ans below.
Answer:
Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the
boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the
other cigarette.
Another deadly answer, scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch
it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you can light the
cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by
drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se
hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get
jealous & "jalney lagega"
You have 2 cigarettes and
have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything else with you in the
boat? How will you do it?
See ans below.
Answer:
Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the
boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the
other cigarette.
Another deadly answer, scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch
it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you can light the
cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by
drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se
hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get
jealous & "jalney lagega"
Friday, February 04, 2005
A girl pushed her father!!!! Why?
A girl psuhed her father from 7th floor of a building.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guess why?????????????????
.
.
.
.
...Because her name was Pushpa(Push-pa) :))
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guess why?????????????????
.
.
.
.
...Because her name was Pushpa(Push-pa) :))
.
Hilarious
A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a
sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive,
but unconscious. He decided to take him home.
When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him
some bread and water inside.
When the sparrow regained consciousness, he looked
around and said: "Bars, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"
sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive,
but unconscious. He decided to take him home.
When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him
some bread and water inside.
When the sparrow regained consciousness, he looked
around and said: "Bars, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Weighing a baby
A lady holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks a clerk if she can use the store's free baby scale.
'Sorry, ma'am,' says the clerk. 'Our baby scale is out for repairs.
But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.' 'Oh, that won't work,' says the lady
'Why not?' asks the clerk. 'Because,' says the lady, 'I'm not the mother -- I'm the aunt.'
'Sorry, ma'am,' says the clerk. 'Our baby scale is out for repairs.
But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.' 'Oh, that won't work,' says the lady
'Why not?' asks the clerk. 'Because,' says the lady, 'I'm not the mother -- I'm the aunt.'
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