Amitabh: Mausi ladka “ Accenture” mein kaam karta hai...
Mausi: Hai raam...
Amitabh: Aajkal allocated bhi hai...
Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????
Amitabh: Ab C ki rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya C ki rating bhi aati hai uski????
Amitabh: PL se ladaai karne ke baad B ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????
Amitabh: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban...
Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????
Amitabh: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????
Amitabh: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!
Amitabh: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??
Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Accenture waale se kabhi nahin karegi.......
Friday, February 25, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
That is too much!!! Some body save me please!
Once a girl was drinking Coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink and took it out from the Coke.
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died.The baby fly opened its eyes, looked at the girl and said,"Maaa!".
The girl asked the baby fly,"Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tune mujhe Maa kyo bulaaya?"
The fly replied, "Kyoonki maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".
The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died.The baby fly opened its eyes, looked at the girl and said,"Maaa!".
The girl asked the baby fly,"Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tune mujhe Maa kyo bulaaya?"
The fly replied, "Kyoonki maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Kid wants to marry his grandma....!
"Daddy," said a six-year-old boy, "I'd like to get married."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma."
"Now, wait a minute," said his father.
"You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine."
"Sure, son." said his father. "Anyone special in mind?"
"Yes," answered the boy. "Grandma."
"Now, wait a minute," said his father.
"You don't think I'd let you marry my mother, do you!!"
"Why not?" the boy asked. "You married mine."
Friday, February 11, 2005
Chatting Funda
Our hero chatting with GF (heroin) regularly . They had never met each other.
Both are s/w engg by the profession and both work for MNC's.
Hero : Hey..GM.. how r u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on
chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find
you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some
coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime
number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with
you,if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for
heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid
things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers
are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime
number,given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its
real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour
from now.ok?
Heroin : THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO
YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW
Both are s/w engg by the profession and both work for MNC's.
Hero : Hey..GM.. how r u doing today?
Heroin : VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on
chat
Hero : wow...am honoured, u know wat, my day starts only when i find
you on chat
Heroin : Yep...me too feel the same..brb (be right back) 'll get some
coffee.
Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager : Hey, I need some help from you
Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager : Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime
number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero : I would do that, but i think its quite hard, is it ok with
you,if i give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager : Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for
heroin to arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Heroin : Hey, am back
Hero : cool, you know what my manager, he's kinda keeps asking stupid
things, tries to give me stupid work
Heroin : Yeah, its the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers
are!!
Hero : Yep, u rite!!
Heroin : Hey, can u do me a favour
Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.
Heroin : Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime
number,given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? plzzz. You know its
real urgent for me to work this out :)
Hero : hey, thats a one-hour's work. Sure check ur mail in an hour
from now.ok?
Heroin : THAT WAS THE SAMETHING I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO
YOUR WORK PLACE. YOU KNOW WHO IAM NOW!!
YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW
Thursday, February 10, 2005
IAS interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions
to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined,
but one persistent candidate would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this candidate. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.
"By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention".
If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject.I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions
to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined,
but one persistent candidate would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this candidate. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.
"By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention".
If I name one, it will be injustice to another". The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject.I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Women
A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to
show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialled 911,and within
minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to
ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her
Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the
body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the
officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are
so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you s ay such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from
the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialled 911,and within
minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to
ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her
Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the
body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the
officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are
so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you s ay such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from
the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? ! "
Monday, February 07, 2005
Deadly PJ
Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 cigarettes and
have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything else with you in the
boat? How will you do it?
See ans below.
Answer:
Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the
boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the
other cigarette.
Another deadly answer, scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch
it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you can light the
cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by
drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se
hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get
jealous & "jalney lagega"
You have 2 cigarettes and
have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything else with you in the
boat? How will you do it?
See ans below.
Answer:
Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the
boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the
other cigarette.
Another deadly answer, scroll down a little
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch
it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you can light the
cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by
drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se
hamne cigarette jalayee".
If that was not enough, one more deadly
answer....scroll down
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get
jealous & "jalney lagega"
Friday, February 04, 2005
A girl pushed her father!!!! Why?
A girl psuhed her father from 7th floor of a building.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guess why?????????????????
.
.
.
.
...Because her name was Pushpa(Push-pa) :))
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guess why?????????????????
.
.
.
.
...Because her name was Pushpa(Push-pa) :))
.
Hilarious
A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a
sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive,
but unconscious. He decided to take him home.
When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him
some bread and water inside.
When the sparrow regained consciousness, he looked
around and said: "Bars, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"
sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive,
but unconscious. He decided to take him home.
When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him
some bread and water inside.
When the sparrow regained consciousness, he looked
around and said: "Bars, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!!!"
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