A lady holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks a clerk if she can use the store's free baby scale.
'Sorry, ma'am,' says the clerk. 'Our baby scale is out for repairs.
But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.' 'Oh, that won't work,' says the lady
'Why not?' asks the clerk. 'Because,' says the lady, 'I'm not the mother -- I'm the aunt.'
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Santa and Banta
Banta's son:dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a
swimming pool.
Banta: give him a glass of water.
Ek teacher ne bacche se puchha
"akal badhi ya bhais "
baccha bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".
Why was a guy writing the exam near the door
coz it was an entrance exam.
Ek dost ne aadmi se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."
aadmi bola "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: really what is he studying?
santa: he is not studying they r studying him.
swimming pool.
Banta: give him a glass of water.
Ek teacher ne bacche se puchha
"akal badhi ya bhais "
baccha bola "sir pehle date of birth to batao".
Why was a guy writing the exam near the door
coz it was an entrance exam.
Ek dost ne aadmi se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyon
dekhta rehta."
aadmi bola "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharcha hone do."
Santa:I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college.
Banta: really what is he studying?
santa: he is not studying they r studying him.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Joke of the day
A pundit climbs to the top of the Himalayas to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "To me a million years mean a minute my son."
Pundit asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "Son, a million dollars is a penny to me." Pundit asks, "Lord in that case may I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute my son."
Pundit asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "Son, a million dollars is a penny to me." Pundit asks, "Lord in that case may I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute my son."
Another Joke (Moral :Always allow the boss to speak first)
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be
in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff,
and he was also gone. The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch at 12.35pm"
" Always allow the boss to speak first"
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be
in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff,
and he was also gone. The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch at 12.35pm"
" Always allow the boss to speak first"
Jokes
Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are more than enough!
No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening..
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep !
ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY. So what ? Who's in a hurry ?
Work fascinates me I can look at it for hours !
Love is photogenic, It needs darkness to develop
Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children !
Do you know of a guy who parked his car in front of board which said FINE FOR PARKING
A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..
When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
No, 35 children are more than enough!
No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening..
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep !
ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY. So what ? Who's in a hurry ?
Work fascinates me I can look at it for hours !
Love is photogenic, It needs darkness to develop
Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children !
Do you know of a guy who parked his car in front of board which said FINE FOR PARKING
A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..
Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..
When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
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