Jokes

Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are more than enough!

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening..

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun..

Your future depends on your dreams, So go to sleep !

ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY. So what ? Who's in a hurry ?

Work fascinates me I can look at it for hours !

Love is photogenic, It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children !

Do you know of a guy who parked his car in front of board which said FINE FOR PARKING

A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge began, you've been brought here for drinking..
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?

Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting..

Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different..

When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book..

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!